Myself: A Poem

I am feeling all of myself 

Everything 

from the longest strand of hair on the very top of my head to the sharpest edge of my longest toenail 

I am feeling all of myself 

I feel all my weight like buried treasure pulled from the bottom of the ocean

I feel all of my height like standing atop a 100 story building

 looking down while realizing and appreciating each second of life

I feel all of the mass like trying to stuff fresh Linens into already packed closet

I feel all of myself

I feel my sadness like knowing I’ll never see his smile again

 I feel my happiness like art gifted to me to help me heal

I feel my confusion as if I can’t remember where I put the unimportant things because I didn’t know they were important

I feel my rage. It is coming undone within me like roots pushing past concrete walls it never asked for

I feel my peace in melodies from songs I’ve never heard but remember dreaming about

I feel my heartbeat in the handshake of strangers. They tell me they don’t do handshakes, they’d rather hug. I suppose all of me makes all of them feel good.

I feel my body as if it is carrying life knowing that it isn’t but knowing that it is

 the twinges in my toes remind me to feel thankful

my painted yet chipping fingernails remind me to pray

the strain in the back urges me to relax

the pulsating of my throat suggest I get ready to fall in love

I feel all of myself

what the world calls essence I know is my soul

And I feel her

Apart from my flesh

I feel her and she quiets me

She reminds me to take time to feel 

Suggest I eat and drink in care of myself

she warns me of me

Knows this silence leads to the breaking

Knows this noise is evidence of my fears

I am feeling all of myself

Without touch

And without touching

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