I don’t have to tell you that Valentine’s Day can be rough, even for the toughest anti-patriarchy warrior. On the one day where everyone is choosing to show love, I don’t want to fight the power? I just want a box of chocolates too.

I always feel blessed though. My mom reminded us every year that, though not romantic love because we weren’t allowed yet, we had plenty of love to give and share. That understanding has helped me to shape the way I think about Valentine’s Day.

So this year, I passed out Justice League themed Valentine cards to my co-workers, some of who I rarely ever speak to. They looked at me wondering why l was giggling like a school girl passing out cartoon cards and candy. I told them that I was giving them love because it makes me feel good.

Here are 5 Simple Self Care Acts you can enjoy on Valentine’s Day!

1. Treat yourself to a meal! Good food is good comfort. No lie about it. Take yourself out for a big breakfast or adventure to a new lunch spot. Or, cook yourself a fancy dinner. Live music (via YouTube) and all.
2. Have a spa day! You can go to the professionals or light the candles and do it yourself, either way, pampering your body is a healthy act for the heart.
3. Party! Crank the tunes, put on a great outfit and let your body feel the rhythm. You can even make it a karaoke night. You get the same endorphins doing it for yourself as when you do it for others. (I don’t know if that’s scientifically true but I have experience.)
4. Art! If you are a painter, paint. If you write, poem. If you craft, make something. Not that project you’re commissioned for but just do it because you love it. Make yourself a Valentines Day gift.
5. Read a good book or watch a movie. It doesn’t have to be loved theme. Just pickup something that stimulates your mind and kicks your imagination into high gear. A documentary even.

Also, here are 5 Acts of Kindness you can give on Valentine’s Day!

1. Text your friends. Not a generic mass text but a personalized love note for those you love. Don’t worry about being too sappy. It’s the day for it. If you wanna punch it up, include a link to a song you picked just for them.
2. Buy a stranger a meal or a coffee. Pick someone who is sitting alone and tell the waiter, you’d like to cover their meal and then send a note. You don’t want that person to feel like charity so something like “You’re the recipient of my Random Act of Kindness today. Happy Valentines Day!”
3. Hand out Valentine’s to strangers. Or leave ’em in random places to find. Personalize the note. “If you received this, it’s because it was meant for you. No matter what today brings, know that you bring value to the world and the people around you. Wishing you a successful and prosperous life.” … or something like that.
4. Compliment a stranger, let someone skip you in line, or donate a few bucks to a worthy cause. It’s simple but effective.
5. Take a friend out. A movie or dinner, let a friend know it’s your treat because you love them. Simple.

The above acts are extremely simple. Doing them may or may not change the world but it can be a determining factor of how you choose to spend Valentines Day and your esteem in the process. Notice that none of the above acts are about romance but about being a good person to yourself and to others. I truly believe that’s what Valentines Day should be about.

HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY

PS: I Love You too