This is the tech based generation which means we are the generation of social media, self-absorbed picture taking, and online dating. In a world where 20% of all serious relationships start online, that means one of the five people around you met their current dating partner in cyber space. However, with the entire population interconnected on the web, I’m surprised that people are still really bad at dating online.
Even if you’re a novice, you’ve probably quickly experienced the annoyance and nuances or navigating a site full of posers, pushers, and players. I’ll be honest, my tips are mostly geared towards fellas who have made the internet a meat market of “what if’s” and “the next best thing”…. but ladies, you can learn a thing or two too!
Here is a list of the worst online dating traits and what would be a better option if you’re the culprit.
1. Bad Grammar and Acronyms
…. I don’t expect everyone to be an English scholar but I can’t tell what you’re saying if you don’t say it clearly! And furthermore there are enough memes going around for you to know the difference between “your” and “you’re.”
…. If you text me “wyd,” I’m texting you “jshwtbay.” Annoying, right? Make a genuine effort to communicate and it will be properly and entertainingly reciprocated.
2. Boring and Basic Conversation
… starting a conversation with “Hey” is about as pointless as starting the conversation with goodbye. You’ll say hey and then I’ll say hey and then we’re stuck. A better option is to read the profile of the person you’re interested in and start the conversation there. Even “Hey Beautiful” can be annoying if their is no substance attached to your words.
3. Page Content
… speaking of reading the profile, why isn’t there anything on your profile? Statements like “just ask me” make me think that this online thing is something you just decided to do at the last minute because you were bored. If that’s the case, I don’t want to talk to you anyway. But if you’re serious about being on that site to meet someone, then give them a little something to work with. Or all of your interactions will last as long as the the time it took to swipe right on their pic.
3. Shirtless/ Money/ Hotel Pics
… sex enters all relationships one way or another. We will eventually talk about it, get awkward about it, and maybe even get to it! But having shirtless pictures suggest that you’re ready for that conversation right now. And if that’s the case, go for it! But if not, just put up a normal picture of you with a puppy or at a park. I don’t want to see pictures of money, or alcohol, and definitely not a dirty Hotel mirror picture. Yes, I recognize them!
4. Dick Pics
…. just don’t!
5. Always online, never in person
… the online conversation is great. It allows people to simply ignore the social constructs that prevent us from getting to know each other and just get to know each other. But if we talk online for 3 months straight and you never asked for my number or never offer to meet up, I’m going to move on. I’m not interested in a pen pal. I also don’t want to waste massive amounts of time establishing something superficial.
If you’re going to date online, do it with purpose. Decide if you’re looking for a hookup or something long-term and then be honest with your intentions. Please don’t give people a false version of yourself. It’s only wise that you keep it 100% so you’re more likely to get what you came looking for.
There’s no shame in online dating and there are plenty of success stories. But in order for you to be one, you’ve got to put in the effort. Just because we are a web-connected generation doesn’t mean we can’t have genuine and purposeful connections.
PS, don’t expect POF or Tinder to present you something of value. Go ahead and spend the money to go to match.com or one of those other sites and really meet someone worth your time. Happy online dating!
PPS…… jshwtbay- Just sitting here writing this blog about you
Next Piece of Advice? Coming soon!