One Being Single and Hungry from Parables & The Gold Plated Things
Asking me if I want him back
is the same
as asking me what I ate for dinner.
It doesn’t matter.
I’m not hungry anymore.
And this, being hungry, is not a simple task
For I’ve created restrictions and boundaries for myself.
Do not eat out when there is food at home.
Do not reheat leftovers.
Matter fact, throw the whole microwave away.
Set the table.
Use your grandma’s good dishes,
the real silverware,
and set for yourself a fancy glass.
Then sit alone and eat.
For me …
Love is a drive thru.
I think protecting my heart from love
is very much like avoiding the quick and easy of fast food
and forcing myself to stop by the grocery store.
I will walk up and down each aisle,
picking up and putting back things,
mentally checking the cabinets,
getting what I need,
putting back what I don’t.
Waiting for check-out,
loading my cart onto the belt,
listening to the ding of the register as each thing I must have is sum totatled,
hearing the total,
removing the things I could live without so that I stay within my budget,
greeting the nice lady,
paying with coupons
and a cash envelope marked “Be the snack.”
Then, on the way home to cook…
I stop at McDonald’s.
Whenever I see him now, my stomach growls.
Then, I am reminded of what it feels like to go hungry.