One day you’re going to fall in love

I bet she’ll be really pretty, clasically. 

She wears pearls and kitten heels and never raises her voice 

She’s got pedigrees and been debutanted

One of those faces that look flawless in any decade

Hair that always lays perfectly

The type of girl whose casual looks glamorous and glamorous looks heavenly and me…

I hate her

I hate the way she turns up her lower lips right before she smiles at you

I hate how she walks into a room and everybody notices

I hate how you look over at her and it calms you down

I used to stress you out. 

You liked it though, I kept your ass on your toes

You, after me, was like Obama 8 years later

All salt and pepper yet laddeened with wisdom and cool points

You once told me, I was like one shot of vodka too many

It was fun at first but then you have to face reality

Can’t lay in bed all day, 

Can’t start the night when the sun comes up

Can’t risk plan A unless there’s a plan B

Guys like you annoy me 

And me …

Girls like me don’t make the best wives or girlfriends

Not to guys like you anyway.

Guys who’ve planned life thru retirement

Men who’s spontaneity is always Saturday @ 4 o’clock 

The type of guy who proposes on video camera and buys a princess cut diamond

I’m haikus and hidden tattoos 

Collecting postcards and drunk off music

Excitied by artist you’ve never heard of and protesting causes no one knew existed

You were always straight and narrow 

while lines and destinations bore me

But I’m convinced if you try this thing with me

we can explode the world with our ying yang calamity

Build an empire of our psychotic normality

We could raise some crazy genius children 

And change the world

But I get it, she’s safe

Her parents will like you

I get it,  she’s pretty and safe

Your kids will look like barbie dolls

I get it,  she’s safe and normal and pretty and safe

And if that’s what you think you need in your life

Then I wish you a happily ever after

With someone else