By accident

Unspecifically and superficially

With little hesitation

And too much admiration

Embarrassingly

I gave a fuck. Damn. I apologize.

I can’t believe I did that shit.

I told myself I wouldn’t

I said to myself … “Self, you better not give one mother fucking fuck.”

And you won’t believe what I did?

Bitch went and gave em one.

Ridiculous.

So I wrote myself a list

Ten things I give a fuck about

#1 is my self and # 10 is my momma’s Christmas snow pie with the graham cracker crust

That other shit… ain’t make the list.

This means that I am required, by law, to fall back

all-the-way

Take my remaining fucks and put them in my purse

Save them for important shit

like making sure my son grows up with even less fucks to give

And double checking that any fucks my husband, momma, brother, friends gave away …

come back to them ten fold!

It was a tithe, the fucks they offered

an offering, pressed down and shaken together

with prayers and penitence that weren’t theirs to pay.

Considering ancestral fucks that were given, I’m taking back every fuck my grandma ever gave

We will no longer give more fucks then fucks received

And as a reminder …

Your boss ain’t your mother fucking friend- fuck em.

Call out of work and then post a mother fucking movie review.

Motto: We no longer give fucks, we collect em.