I recently heard a rant by Steve Harvey… Yes chile, I said Steve Harvey. I know! But stay with me… He said

“Comfort is the enemy of success.”

Now I heard this and I thought to myself … Well Steve, I’m trying to get successful so I can live comfortably.

But my self said back…. Bitch, you comfortable right now…. and uncomfortable as fuck at the same time!
(My self can be mean when she’s trying to check me.)

Being comfortable, where you are right now, is easy. There is no work involved in maintaining what you already got going on. You can eat the same way and stay at that weight. Work the same job and never apply for anything different. Stay in the same relationship and continue on the same path. You can maintain all of this real easy and comfortably because you know exactly how to do it. I mean damn, you’re an expert at being you right?

Question # 1: On a scale on 1 to 10 (highest), how happy would you be if everything in your life was exactly the same way as now ten years from now?
Think about the money you make. What about your relationships and all it’s nuances? Consider the way you think and act ; your mental health and how you handle conflict or stress? Think about your weight and your health. Think about the house you live in, the job you work, your day to day existence. If ten years from now, your life was exactly the same way, how happy are you?

Not a ten? I didn’t think so. Me either.

Now think back to ten years ago. How would that person feel about this person?

That’s not a dig. I just want you to think about how far you’ve come and determine if you’re stuck or still on a trajectory. Knowing the difference kind changes how you might interpret what I say next.

Cause me… I got comfortable as a muv! (That’s some VA slang for you!) And while this comfort is an accomplishment, it also does not serve me well. Ten years ago I was damn near homeless, broke, and not treating myself well. I climbed out of some really dark times to get to where I am not. (I’ve removed the but that was originally here and decided to let that sentence live alone in it’s glory! I really am proud of myself)

On the other end of my dark times was a resting place, a plateau if you will. However, I confused it for a mountain top. It’s okay to stop and rest on a plateau; no shame in that. I deserved some rest after all I had been through. But rest can easily turn into sleep. When I stopped to look back on the dreams, I realized I had given up on them on the way out. I was so busy just trying to get a little comfort, I was sacrificing actual joy, pleasure, and satisfaction. We are allowed to want more for ourselves while being happy for how far we’ve come.

Question # 2: If money, time, and responsibilities were not a barrier, what would you be doing with your life? Don’t pretend like the factors don’t exist, there’s no health in that, but what would you do if your job didn’t stress you out or you had a better boss who valued you? What if your bills were paid up and you actually had extra left over to do something fun with? What if your weekends were filled with nothing but free time?

Sure, I can pretend all day what I would do if I won the lotto right now. That plan has been dreamed a million time. But more realistically, what if I just had enough to cover all my needs and wants without stress? Because that’s an achievable goal!

Pop quiz: If comfort is the enemy of success, what is its soulmate?
A. Working harder
B. Living Frugally
C. Taking Risk
D. Getting uncomfortable

If you answered D, you’re hopefully having the same ah-ha moment I had! Sure, we can work harder, budget better, and take risk. All of that will get your some benefit. But success, the kind that alters the course of our lives, requires getting up and out of the comfort zone. There’s a reason it’s called the comfort zone and not the comfort box. Because a zone is a restriction predetermined by the factors you’d like to keep in place. You don’t have to stay there and no one is keeping your boxed in.

To achieve success, you have got to be willing to be uncomfortable and do things differently than the way you did it before. I’m preaching to myself y’all!

I once learned that in loosing weight, you body will fight against you to stay at your old weight because it’s comfortable and familiar. As you try to reform the habits that got you to your unhealthiest, your body will get physically sick to discourage you. It knows what to do with sugar and fat, not with beet juice and healthy cortisol levels.

As your get uncomfortable, it will feel… uncomfortable. And the frustrating part is that those bad habits don’t just fall away when you learn new ones. The bad habits are like riding a bike; you never quite forget how to do it. Ask any person going through recovery, ten years later could feel like just yesterday. I’ve done it before, kicked some habits, and fear and familiarity made me go right back.

So now what? How do I get uncomfortable and become one of the successful people?

Well first off, realign your goals. The aim should not be to become one of the successful people but to become my best self. (Yes, I’m on the cliche’ train!) The reality is that if you aim to become like someone else or mimic who they are, your authentic self will fight against you and you’ll be miserable eventually. You need to know yourself the best and have the assurance of your own goals, hopes, and dreams to sustain you.

Then, figure out what and how your best self looks by getting uncomfortable. Stop saying “I don’t” and instead say “I can try” or “I’m willing to.” You’ll never do anything different if you deny yourself the ability to try. The greatest feeling in the world is achievement. Yup, even that feeling you’re thinking of right now… it’s best when something has been achieved ,right? The most practical way to start the process of getting uncomfortable is to do something you’ve never done before. Challenge yourself and then watch yourself be surprised at just how amazing you can be.

Lastly, take your own life along for the ride. Sometimes, we’re so busy trying to escape the life we have that we miss the beauty in it. Take inventory of what you got (Marie Kondo that shit!) and hold on to the things that are worth keeping. You only got this one life right now, ain’t no going back so how about make going forward a damn good ride!

Again, I’m preaching to the choir! I am the queen of starting something and falling off or wanting something but getting scared. Even this article was written in Sept and I’m only not about to post it! But I am always doing the work and that is something I am damn proud of. The me from 10, 15, and 20 years ago is looking at the me now and awed! She still fat, she ugly at time, she make stupid decisions… but she’s so much better! And that gives me the confidence to know I’m almost on the other side. I just gotta be willing to get a little more uncomfortable!