This is a short story submitted for my ENG 211: Creative Writing I class. it’s posted her for feedback from family/ friends.

“Order anything you like, I’ve got it.”

Kacey looked up to meet Tommy’s eyes. He flashed a quick smile before looking back down at the menu. She couldn’t help but blush at the way his eyes sparkled and his dimple flexed when he looked at her. They hadn’t known each other long but it was obvious to her that he was attempting to conceal the spark brewing between them. This was their first date but they’d been emailing back and forth for weeks. A friend of hers introduced them. 

Hey Kacey, this is Thomas Larken from Emory that I was discussing with you last week. I think he would be perfect for you. Hope it works out, Love Morgan. 

The waitress arrived to take their order. Kacey’s face turned sour at seeing the young blonde with full hips. She was gorgeous and her gigantic breast seemed to protrude into their conversation. They had barely gotten past initial introductions and how the week had been before Kacey had to consider the competition of a younger more beautiful woman possibly stealing Tommy’s attention. This is why she’d prefer night dates in dark rooms or low light restaurants. When Tommy suggested breakfast, Kacey attempted to push back and offer something after 5PM but he declined stating that this was preferred.

“The avocado toast with eggs please,” Kacey forced a smile on her face as not to let her shaken confidence seep through. “And he’ll have… the same?”

“Actually, just a coffee for me,” Tommy interjected. “I actually ate already.”

Once the waitress was gone, Kacey joked that now she could see Tommy’s face again. He didn’t seem to get it. He scrambled around a few moments on his phone before smiling and making eye contact again.

“Sorry about that, where were we?”

“You were telling me about your job,” Kacey laughed and allowed herself to blush, cutely tucking her hair behind her ear and pursing her lips.

“The job, right…”

Kacey paid little attention to what Tommy said as he rambled on about where he worked, what benefits he got, and why the job was so great. She just stared at his lips. She imagined what it would be like to kiss him. If she’d try that today or wait til the next date. This was only their first but they had been talking back and forth online for so long, she felt it wouldn’t be uncomfortable if they skipped some of the dating etiquette and got right to what they both wanted. He had mentioned it pretty directly in his first email and she has responded that they sounded perfect for each other. 

It’s nice to meet you Kacey. I’ll get right to it. I’m looking for someone who is creative and passionate but also honest and determined. Additionally, It’s important to be on time. For this relationship to be successful, I need someone who can be by my side and that I can trust indubitably. 

“So what do you think?” Tommy asked, having leaned forward and put both hands on the table. 

“I think…. you’ve spilled a little something on your tie.” Kacey grabbed a napkin, leaned forward and dabbed at the coffee. 

“Uh thanks,” Tommy grabbed the napkin from Kacey and continued whipping himself clean. “So, the job, what do you think?”

“I think it sounds wonderful. I love that you love what you do.” Kacey decided that she wouldn’t pursue the kiss just yet. She’d wait until they did this again. A few seconds later, Tommy looked at his phone and said he needed to go. He threw a few fifty dollar bills on the table and left.  

Over the next few days, Kacey got anxious waiting for Tommy to contact her. So she decided to email him first. 

Hey Tommy, it’s me, Kacey! I had a really great time. Thanks for breakfast. Hope to hear from you soon. 

– Kacey.

Tommy! Kacey Here. There’s this amazing brunch spot on 5th I thought we could try next. Just let me know if you want to do a part two! 

-Kac!

Tommy, guess you’ve been busy. Don’t ghost a girl, okay. Let me know if I’m still what you’re looking for. I definitely think you’re what I need!

– Love Kacey!

A few days later, Kacey finally got a response; Morgan was CC’d and an address for the legal team at Emory.

Kacey, I’ve gotten your messages and I appreciate your persistence. However, we’ve decided to go in a different direction. Best of luck in your search. 

– Thomas, CEO of Emory Incorporated. 

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 AFTERWORD

The story of Kacey and Tommy focuses on a single meeting in which Kacey believes she is on a date when the event is in fact a job interview. The unreliable narrator in this story is expressed in a few ways. I wanted the interaction to be about plain details rather than be loaded with feelings that could be an obvious cognitive dissonance. By having dialogue and email exchanges, the audience might easily be confused by the interaction as well. 

Firstly, the narrative is told in the third-person-limited point of view. This allows us to exist in the space solely with Kacey and experience her thoughts and feelings. To this end, we can imagine that Thomas’ perspective would reveal some very obvious and identifying elements of the interview that Kacey has mistaken for a date. Unlike a delusion in which the details are skewed to fit the narrative, the narrator gives us elements that lend to Kacey’s dissonance such as emails that are factual and Thoma’s reactions to her behavior. This is not modified to fit Kacey’s experience but instead can be misinterpreted if viewed from her perspective alone.  Secondly, the narrator aids in calling Thomas “Tommy” even though he is introduced as Thomas to Kacey by Morgan and he closes the story firmly referring to himself as Thomas plus his title. By doing this, we might get the impression that Tommy is an obvious choice of nickname for someone you’re dating and talking to for weeks. But it might be considered inappropriate to call a potential employer by a nickname they haven’t used themselves.