Today, I arrived to my 8AM Psychology class ten minutes early and I was all prepared for my first day of the semester. From the outside in, I probably looked prepared with my laptop, my Wawa coffee (eww, not Starbucks!), and my real cool black leather “Black Lives Matter” bag that I got at a museum in DC. I grabbed a seat in the far back corner where I could see the whole class and prepared to take notes. Within 20 minutes of the class starting, it was decided. I would be dropping this class. I was tempted to get up and walk out but decided to skip the drama. Plus, the teacher was pretty entertaining. So I waited til the last few minutes, hit the drop button, and let the teacher know I was out!

Why? Well, there were a few reasons. One. I had to wake up at 630AM to get myself and my son up and out the house in time for me to be there by 8AM. And I would have to do this twice a week! Today it was raining but what about when it snows? I would not wanna be out there. Two. The desk in the class were way too small, like an elementary school! I was gonna have to get some fat girl accommodations if I were gonna stay because while the skinner girls were in class with their legs crossed comfortably, my stomach was on top of the desk and only one thigh was in the seats. And third. There was about a 17 year age gap between me and the oldest student. Now, I can hold my own amongst young people but I was feeling the auntie vibes already. I may be married with kids but I’m only 35, I do not wanna be the pinnacle of life experience in this class. With those three reasons combined, my options were ghosting, quite quitting, or dropping out! So I choose to drop out. I instead signed up for an online version of the class Tuesdays at 630PM! (Of course I’m not dropping out of college… again! I got a scholarship!)

Just in case you don’t know, let me break down what ghosting and quite quitting are. Ghosting is a term used to describe what happens when a friend or romantic interest disappears without a word. They aren’t missing or lost, they’ve just chosen to cut a person off without an explanation. Quiet quitting is when you strip yourself down to the bare minimum and only do what is required to be apart. You don’t go above or beyond and you don’t put in extra energy. (You asked for a couple cookies, here is two!) Some people say these acts are immature; that you should have a conversation with people to let them know why a situationship has changed. I think that’s BS. You don’t owe anyone your story or your explanation and you don’t have to rehash trauma to make things easier for others. You have the right to ghost someone who wasn’t valuing your time anyway, quiet quit on a job that’s been playing with your raise, or drop out of a commitment that doesn’t serve you. Disclaimer: I do think you should give people a heads up that you’ve chosen to end the situation. You don’t want people worrying about you. But telling them is over can be done in two words: It’s Over!

Because valuing yourself starts with not putting yourself through the ringer for choices you need to make for yourself. People will try to make you feel bad for quitting a job without a two weeks notice. But they won’t fire or replace you with a notice, will they? You don’t have to spare someone’s feelings when they’ve hurt yours. If a date was an hour late with no notice, you don’t owe them a goodbye message. Also, the consequences of your actions are not always your responsibility to navigate. If the choice you made makes things difficult for them, than oh well. They shouldn’t have put you in the position to make that choice. Lastly, you are not obligated to stay somewhere that doesn’t serve you, like a Psychology class with tiny ass chairs!

When I got home from class, I switched my entire schedule around. I dropped all my in person classes and signed up for online instead. Where I once thought being on campus was something I needed for my social engagements, I realized doing class from my pajamas was something I needed even more for my peace and happiness.

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