So there Adam was, in the garden, naming animals and chit chatting with God. He noticed that cow had a cow, gator had a gator, even slimy worm had a slimy worm. Yet Adam was the only Adam he could see. God was pretty cool to hang with, but Adam wanted a boo and he started to cry. So God said, I gotta make my main-man Adam a ride-or-die…..
That’s how it happened right?
Not exactly. Adam was fairly busy doing the work of God. Not so busy he was exhausted but simply occupied. And he was contented. However, God decided that (Genesis 2:18) “It is not good for the man to be alone…” and that a suitable helper was needed. Interesting because Adam wasn’t technically alone. He had God personally (What better company than that?) and plenty of pets (for lack of better words) and we all know a good puppy can cure some lonely blues. But even in that, God decided that Adam could benefit from having “A One.”
Lately, I’ve been thinking about that a lot- My One. After going to yet another wedding this weekend, it’s made me realize that I’m almost 30 and ……. I’m not ready!
Oh, you thought I was gonna say I want God to send me my boo! Oh geesh, not quite.
Now don’t get me wrong, should Mr. 6’2- chocolate skin- loves God and poetry (or whatever) roll up on me today then I ain’t turning him away. But I’d have to know that I know that I know he’s the one before giving up my singleness. Because there’s so much to be achieved in my singleness. Like Adam, I want to be so contented in doing the work/ will of God that God himself decides it’s time for me to have a helper.
One day, I’d like to get married. Yup, I said it! Super feminism, she-warrior, I-can-do-bad-all-by-myself, wants to have a husband someday! (Oh shush your giggling!) But that desire doesn’t supersede my desire to be about my father’s business.
I recognize that once I’m married, the business of my father intertwines with the business of my husband which will (not may) limit my capacity to move with the Glory and serve.
Even more so, I’d like to meet my husband sooner rather than later.
Why? Well because I suck at celibacy. I’m just being honest.
But my primary reason is because I want to have a “one” who will do purpose with me! I understand the significance of having a helper and welcome both the help and the honor of being a helper. But right now, I have some places I want to discover on my own. I want to conquer lust, loneliness, depression etc and establish financial and physical healthiness prior to being someone’s life long commitment. I wouldn’t want to go into a marriage simply to get my rocks off or play off of some else’s credit. I want to do it because I’m amazing and he’s amazing and together, we make a powerful army of 3. (Him + Me + God)
I figure all my friends will probably get married around me and before me and though it won’t be easy, I’ll be okay. The more friends who get married, the lonelier the journey will be. But the closer I’ll draw into God. The better examples of what my marriage should look like I’ll have. The more fulfilled I’ll be when my one does come along.
But I know that if I stick to this path of focus and determination, when he shows up, it’ll be worth the wait. And i’ll be worth his wait.
Just a Lil Something Extra:
As a kid, I did not plan my wedding. Though I’ve attended over a dozen, I still never put much thought into what I would want my own wedding to be. (Partially because I think my guy will be really metrosexual and fight me over shades of white.) Sure, I’ve seen enough ceremonies and receptions to know what I don’t want, the etiquette I would follow, and even more recently, I have an idea of the type of venue I’d like and the song I would want sang…. but colors? flowers? dj or band? No clue! And little care!
If I have my way, we’ll throw a garden style cocktail party and make out in the broom closet after the I-Do’s!